So a little update on our life the past month. We had a week of stomach flu, that then had a case of strep added and topped it off with pneumonia that kept my 14 year old out of school for almost 4 weeks. (She went back today hoping she can make it without having to come home.) With 8 people in a house (and a child in every level of school) once something hits it truly runs it course for awhile no matter how much you clean and spray everything with Lysol. ;) - Oh and add my college daughter's car that she bought a month before thru a rod and is no longer usable.
I felt the worse for my 14 year old daughter that was knocked down and so weak. And we had many friends offer to help in anyway, but to be honest it is just life.Very kind of all of them, and I appreciated every one of the offers, but I kept thinking, "You have your own life to worry about, we are good."
Then Sunday night, just as we thought we were getting over things and headed into the sunshine of the Summer, our 2 year old jumped off a pile of blankets with her brothers and landed on the wood floor and broke her right arm. Now it is just a slight fracture, but it still broken. (Side note, the kids were playing in a room they were told not be in, and doing something they were told multiple times not to do. Oh and yes the 7 and 11 year old brothers are grounded this week because they chose to ignore those rules and the little one got hurt. Oh I can assure you there was raised voices before the calm and teaching moments that followed. Keeping it real folks.) - side note thank you to the friend that showed up with chocolate last evening - it was needed.
She is doing good, but then I woke up this morning with some tummy troubles. "Seriously!?!", was the first thing that went thru my head. Then I just laughed and figured "why not?"
I mean we were never told that life was going to be sunshine and roses. Never told that we would sail thru this life without periods that seem there is one thing after another that we are dealing with. I have decided that the trick is to keep a good attitude and have perspective on the whole situation you are in. Now are we sick of being sick in the house? ABSOLUTELY!!!!! But all we have to do is literally open up FB and see post of people asking for prayers for a child fighting for their life, or a friend that has lost the fight and is no longer suffering. Perspective!
We have all heard the saying "count your blessings" - and let's be honest it is really hard to do that in the middle of an emotional breaking point when life has thrown a lot at you. But if we can try and take the time to step back and see how many more blessings we have than problems, I think the world be a much better place.
So, we may still be having issues health wise, and my laundry may or may not be spilling out of the laundry room, and cold cereal may possibly even be on the menu tonight -- but so what? I have a roof over my head, a husband that has a stable job, food in my pantry (even if I may not cook it tonight), amazing friends, I am able to stay at home with my kids, the list can go on and on - I have a blessed life.
Dancing thru these little rainstorms is what makes life interesting. And having amazing friends and family to be there to join in that dance makes life worth it all. Oh and remember that after the storms is when the sunshine and sometimes even rainbows appear.
dance
Tuesday, May 20, 2014
Thursday, May 1, 2014
Taking A Mental Break
So I am taking a mental break and writing for a minute. The past two weeks have been busy and interesting and at times kind of blah.
So last week I went to Utah to help my Mom while she was having surgery. I was able to stay for 3 days to help. It was so wonderful to be able to help her when she needed it. Living far away is so hard sometimes. I wish I could do more for her, but those three days were so nice to be able serve a little and visit a lot. This was only possible because Kirk took 3 days off to support this effort. So blessed he was willing to do this.
After getting home I was able to see Parker in the HS production of Three Musketeers. It was so good! He helped choreograph most of the sword fights in the show, plus was the lead. In the middle of that he also took the ACT for the first time and received a 29. So proud of him.
The family over the last week and a half had stomach flu and colds and now strep. CJ just had strep about 4 weeks ago, has the stomach flu for 2 days and a day later has strep. Sick and tired of having kids sick and tired. Kirk even got sick for 2 days and probably could have stayed home another day, but if you know him you know him actually taking time off and staying home even a day or two is a miracle.
So yesterday I had a whole list of things I had planned to get done and catch up from being gone and having sick kids. I was to go into work to help get things ready for the one day the store is open (which is today), catch up on Spring Cleaning, laundry, and some errands.
My day started off with my 7 year old yelling as he ran to catch the bus that I needed to come to his class play at 9 am. I assured him I would be there at the 1 pm show and then that night. That was not good enough. He wanted me there for all three, because he needed someone in the audience for him each time. (Yes this kid with the huge eyes knows the exact thing to guilt me into almost anything.) So I hurry and finish some work on the computer I needed to do, threw on some clothes and make up and get the little one ready and headed over to the school by 9 am. Go home just before 10 am and started the homeschooling part of the day. Did a load of laundry and then got a text from the 14 year old (as of next week) that she got sick at school. She had been home sick for two days already and we thought she was well enough to go back. So I tell her I will come get her as soon as I drop off the 11 yr old to school after his homeschooling time is done. Then about 15 minutes later the 11 yr old is now saying his stomach is hurting when he eats like it did 4 weeks ago when he had strep. GREAT!! So, I get the dr. called and get an appointment for 2 pm. I go grab the 14 yr old, get her home. Make lunch for the those that are well enough to eat. Get the 2 yr old asleep and down for a nap, just in time to get back over to the 1 pm class play. Watch the play, go home and grab the 11 yr old get to the dr's at 2 and are there until almost 4 pm. Go pick up the college aged daughter since she is done with classes, go the grocery store for medicine. Stop by the bank on the way home to cash a check for the 14 yr old because in her words, "I keep forgetting to have you cash this, please do it today so it is not another 3 weeks." Call my almost 17 yr old on the way home because he has been at school since 7:30 am, has about 30 minutes before he has to get ready for a shift at work that goes from 5 - midnight. Check in with him and his day and suggest he goes and tries to close his eyes for 30 minutes. Luckily I did get dinner in the crock pot that morning so he can eat before he leaves in less than an hour. Get home take care of sick ones, get dinner ready for everyone else just in time to then head back over to school for the last performance that started at 6. Get home and college aged daughter heads off to rehearsal. Husband has to teach a class that night so he is not home until closer to 8 pm. He offers to take me for a drive, I suggest laying on the bed and finish watching Castle on Hulu with me because I have lived in the car today. ;) The night continues and at some point I am down at the theatre at the end of rehearsals for Seussical to grab my car since my daughter can get a ride home late tonight from a friend.
So all that leads up to this moment last night -
I am driving home, alone, in the dark. I have the classical station on the radio kind of like background noise. I live about 5 miles out West of the town. So it is a fairly peaceful drive home. My mind starts wondering from one house and those that live there to the next. Then washes from my day to my life. And in that moment I realize that even that day was kind of a blah day. And I have been running and stressed and felt like my house is falling apart and not enough time to get it organized and cleaned like I would want - my life is good. Actually, my life is pretty amazing! I have a loving husband that is my best friend. I have great kids (even if they do drive me crazy some days). I have a loving home to come home to. A car that runs, food on the table, get to stay home with my kids so I CAN drop my to do list and be there for them, and the list just goes on. So in that moment what was different?
What changed was my heart and mind. I was so overwhelmed by everything that day that I was just trying to keep up on my list from one change to the other and take care of everything and everyone. Which is my job. But in my heart I was upset and feeling like a loser because I felt like I was dropping the ball on so many things I was supposed to have done by that night. In the car on that dark road in the stillness of being alone, my mind was able to shift to what I did get done, what I did have and my heart in the same moment was able to see things differently. A peace came over me and I was able to walk thru my front door feeling that peace instead of the stress and tension I had felt all day coming and going.
What a blessing!!! My heart had found a way to "dance" thru the storm of my stress and awaken my mind to what really mattered. I hope I can remember that feeling in the car, when the next day (and I know there will be many) of plans having to be changed and laundry not getting done, so I can hold onto that peaceful feeling and let the tension and stress go.
(Okay mental break over - back to the piles of laundry that need to be folded, and maybe I should actually get cleaned up and presentable now that it after 1 pm. And forgive the typos if there are any because time is short and proof reading is not on my list at this moment in time.)
So last week I went to Utah to help my Mom while she was having surgery. I was able to stay for 3 days to help. It was so wonderful to be able to help her when she needed it. Living far away is so hard sometimes. I wish I could do more for her, but those three days were so nice to be able serve a little and visit a lot. This was only possible because Kirk took 3 days off to support this effort. So blessed he was willing to do this.
After getting home I was able to see Parker in the HS production of Three Musketeers. It was so good! He helped choreograph most of the sword fights in the show, plus was the lead. In the middle of that he also took the ACT for the first time and received a 29. So proud of him.
The family over the last week and a half had stomach flu and colds and now strep. CJ just had strep about 4 weeks ago, has the stomach flu for 2 days and a day later has strep. Sick and tired of having kids sick and tired. Kirk even got sick for 2 days and probably could have stayed home another day, but if you know him you know him actually taking time off and staying home even a day or two is a miracle.
So yesterday I had a whole list of things I had planned to get done and catch up from being gone and having sick kids. I was to go into work to help get things ready for the one day the store is open (which is today), catch up on Spring Cleaning, laundry, and some errands.
My day started off with my 7 year old yelling as he ran to catch the bus that I needed to come to his class play at 9 am. I assured him I would be there at the 1 pm show and then that night. That was not good enough. He wanted me there for all three, because he needed someone in the audience for him each time. (Yes this kid with the huge eyes knows the exact thing to guilt me into almost anything.) So I hurry and finish some work on the computer I needed to do, threw on some clothes and make up and get the little one ready and headed over to the school by 9 am. Go home just before 10 am and started the homeschooling part of the day. Did a load of laundry and then got a text from the 14 year old (as of next week) that she got sick at school. She had been home sick for two days already and we thought she was well enough to go back. So I tell her I will come get her as soon as I drop off the 11 yr old to school after his homeschooling time is done. Then about 15 minutes later the 11 yr old is now saying his stomach is hurting when he eats like it did 4 weeks ago when he had strep. GREAT!! So, I get the dr. called and get an appointment for 2 pm. I go grab the 14 yr old, get her home. Make lunch for the those that are well enough to eat. Get the 2 yr old asleep and down for a nap, just in time to get back over to the 1 pm class play. Watch the play, go home and grab the 11 yr old get to the dr's at 2 and are there until almost 4 pm. Go pick up the college aged daughter since she is done with classes, go the grocery store for medicine. Stop by the bank on the way home to cash a check for the 14 yr old because in her words, "I keep forgetting to have you cash this, please do it today so it is not another 3 weeks." Call my almost 17 yr old on the way home because he has been at school since 7:30 am, has about 30 minutes before he has to get ready for a shift at work that goes from 5 - midnight. Check in with him and his day and suggest he goes and tries to close his eyes for 30 minutes. Luckily I did get dinner in the crock pot that morning so he can eat before he leaves in less than an hour. Get home take care of sick ones, get dinner ready for everyone else just in time to then head back over to school for the last performance that started at 6. Get home and college aged daughter heads off to rehearsal. Husband has to teach a class that night so he is not home until closer to 8 pm. He offers to take me for a drive, I suggest laying on the bed and finish watching Castle on Hulu with me because I have lived in the car today. ;) The night continues and at some point I am down at the theatre at the end of rehearsals for Seussical to grab my car since my daughter can get a ride home late tonight from a friend.
So all that leads up to this moment last night -
I am driving home, alone, in the dark. I have the classical station on the radio kind of like background noise. I live about 5 miles out West of the town. So it is a fairly peaceful drive home. My mind starts wondering from one house and those that live there to the next. Then washes from my day to my life. And in that moment I realize that even that day was kind of a blah day. And I have been running and stressed and felt like my house is falling apart and not enough time to get it organized and cleaned like I would want - my life is good. Actually, my life is pretty amazing! I have a loving husband that is my best friend. I have great kids (even if they do drive me crazy some days). I have a loving home to come home to. A car that runs, food on the table, get to stay home with my kids so I CAN drop my to do list and be there for them, and the list just goes on. So in that moment what was different?
What changed was my heart and mind. I was so overwhelmed by everything that day that I was just trying to keep up on my list from one change to the other and take care of everything and everyone. Which is my job. But in my heart I was upset and feeling like a loser because I felt like I was dropping the ball on so many things I was supposed to have done by that night. In the car on that dark road in the stillness of being alone, my mind was able to shift to what I did get done, what I did have and my heart in the same moment was able to see things differently. A peace came over me and I was able to walk thru my front door feeling that peace instead of the stress and tension I had felt all day coming and going.
What a blessing!!! My heart had found a way to "dance" thru the storm of my stress and awaken my mind to what really mattered. I hope I can remember that feeling in the car, when the next day (and I know there will be many) of plans having to be changed and laundry not getting done, so I can hold onto that peaceful feeling and let the tension and stress go.
(Okay mental break over - back to the piles of laundry that need to be folded, and maybe I should actually get cleaned up and presentable now that it after 1 pm. And forgive the typos if there are any because time is short and proof reading is not on my list at this moment in time.)
Tuesday, April 15, 2014
Depression
It seems lately I have heard a lot of talk about depression. People saying they are depressed, others acting depressed, and some that say everyone is depressed to some degree at some point in their lives and just deal with it. So I have decided to ramble a bit in this post thoughts that have been bouncing through my head.
I have not been diagnosed with depression ever in my life, but looking back over the last few years I can see where I was most likely depressed but just worked through it. And this got me thinking that maybe there are way more people that work through it than we know around us, and others in our "quick to give a pill to fix it society" that may not been quite depressed as a doctor told them they were. (Side note- this discussion in no way belittles or takes light actual clinical depression that so many go through.)
I wonder if there are those that say they are depressed and wear it like a badge of honor for the attention - and in doing so actually make it harder on those that are truly depressed to get the support and compassion they need and deserve?
I am sure we all know someone that if they get a paper cut on their pinky we hear about it for two days how they kept touching it or how hard it is to do their work because of it. They are the same ones that share every muscle ache as if they are the only ones that have ever had one. I have also noticed they are the ones that blow off anyone else's pains or trails as if it is not a big deal.
So how do we keep from getting cynical when we hear the word depression? How do we keep our hearts open and our understanding offered?
I personally have decided that the only way to do this is to offer it to everyone - even the annoying paper cut acquaintance. By choosing to be open and compassionate to all we never take the chance to miss showing love to the ones that really need it.
I admit this is easier said than done somedays. I think if we have those moments that we are starting to close off that compassion, those are the days we need to look back when we may have felt sad, down, or yes even depressed. I am a big believer though that many choose to be depressed instead of choosing the joy. It is just easier somedays -and somedays it is needed. But I am not sure how to help those that seem to thrive on being negative and sharing that with all those around them.
Time to share I guess - when we found out we were pregnant with our last little bundle of joy were a little surprised. You see, I had had health issues for 4+ years since our last child and had finally gotten healthy and was feeling whole again. We had also had some miscarriages and figured my body was done. I had mentally had started moving on to the next season of my life as a mother. Planned to go back to school, possibly get a part time job once our youngest was in school full time. So I was not mentally prepared to be pregnant, go thru labor and have a newborn in our lives. Please don't get me wrong, I felt blessed and loved my baby and still do - how could we not love that little princess, she is hilarious!?! But it was not until maybe this last fall that I started feeling like my old self. That self that actually had a full brain again. There were times that were depressing, hard and all I could do was do my best each day and try to see the joy the next. The only other time I felt that disconnected and a little lost was after the passing of my Dad.
I never felt like I was in a depression, I guess because I was able to always find something to be joyful about each day even when there were very loooong days. That was my medicine if you will. I count myself lucky and blessed. I say that because I know many that hit such a low they are unable to help themselves see the joy. I also can look back and know it was a choice I had to make each day to do that. I wonder if we had more people in our lives help us choose to do that instead of being so quick to throw a pill at the problem, would more people be able to be happier and less depressed because they had a better attitude? (Again not talking about true clinical depression.)
(I hope that those that read these post on my blog know me well enough to know that anything that I share about myself is in no way to be patting myself on my back or bragging. I just share because I feel that is how we stay connected as human beings.)
By looking back and acknowledging what I felt and went through helps me to relate even on a small level with those that I might love and know in my life that may be struggling with their own trials and depressions. And maybe by posting about this it will let them know that there is always an ear here to listen and set of arms for a big hug when needed. AND if they are up for it I am always up for dancing the blue away. ;)
I have not been diagnosed with depression ever in my life, but looking back over the last few years I can see where I was most likely depressed but just worked through it. And this got me thinking that maybe there are way more people that work through it than we know around us, and others in our "quick to give a pill to fix it society" that may not been quite depressed as a doctor told them they were. (Side note- this discussion in no way belittles or takes light actual clinical depression that so many go through.)
I wonder if there are those that say they are depressed and wear it like a badge of honor for the attention - and in doing so actually make it harder on those that are truly depressed to get the support and compassion they need and deserve?
I am sure we all know someone that if they get a paper cut on their pinky we hear about it for two days how they kept touching it or how hard it is to do their work because of it. They are the same ones that share every muscle ache as if they are the only ones that have ever had one. I have also noticed they are the ones that blow off anyone else's pains or trails as if it is not a big deal.
So how do we keep from getting cynical when we hear the word depression? How do we keep our hearts open and our understanding offered?
I personally have decided that the only way to do this is to offer it to everyone - even the annoying paper cut acquaintance. By choosing to be open and compassionate to all we never take the chance to miss showing love to the ones that really need it.
I admit this is easier said than done somedays. I think if we have those moments that we are starting to close off that compassion, those are the days we need to look back when we may have felt sad, down, or yes even depressed. I am a big believer though that many choose to be depressed instead of choosing the joy. It is just easier somedays -and somedays it is needed. But I am not sure how to help those that seem to thrive on being negative and sharing that with all those around them.
Time to share I guess - when we found out we were pregnant with our last little bundle of joy were a little surprised. You see, I had had health issues for 4+ years since our last child and had finally gotten healthy and was feeling whole again. We had also had some miscarriages and figured my body was done. I had mentally had started moving on to the next season of my life as a mother. Planned to go back to school, possibly get a part time job once our youngest was in school full time. So I was not mentally prepared to be pregnant, go thru labor and have a newborn in our lives. Please don't get me wrong, I felt blessed and loved my baby and still do - how could we not love that little princess, she is hilarious!?! But it was not until maybe this last fall that I started feeling like my old self. That self that actually had a full brain again. There were times that were depressing, hard and all I could do was do my best each day and try to see the joy the next. The only other time I felt that disconnected and a little lost was after the passing of my Dad.
I never felt like I was in a depression, I guess because I was able to always find something to be joyful about each day even when there were very loooong days. That was my medicine if you will. I count myself lucky and blessed. I say that because I know many that hit such a low they are unable to help themselves see the joy. I also can look back and know it was a choice I had to make each day to do that. I wonder if we had more people in our lives help us choose to do that instead of being so quick to throw a pill at the problem, would more people be able to be happier and less depressed because they had a better attitude? (Again not talking about true clinical depression.)
(I hope that those that read these post on my blog know me well enough to know that anything that I share about myself is in no way to be patting myself on my back or bragging. I just share because I feel that is how we stay connected as human beings.)
By looking back and acknowledging what I felt and went through helps me to relate even on a small level with those that I might love and know in my life that may be struggling with their own trials and depressions. And maybe by posting about this it will let them know that there is always an ear here to listen and set of arms for a big hug when needed. AND if they are up for it I am always up for dancing the blue away. ;)
Thursday, April 10, 2014
When Storms Come
So my last post was about having faith that even when the Lord ask hard things of us to follow and live in that faith. The question today is when you have faith and are feeling like you are following a direction the Lord wants you to go and then you find out that it is not - how do you not question your ability to receive answers?
Like I have said before - it is easy to "dance" when the sun is shining, and there is only a soft breeze sweeping across your neck. But how do you personally find the strength to "dance" and find joy when you feel beat down by the rain and it feels like there is no sunshine strong enough to break thru the grey clouds? (I would love to hear from each of you how you do this.)
I am always teaching my kids to feel the pain, cry, get mad, yell - whatever it is they are feeling at that second. Those feelings are real and should not be just pushed aside in the moment and ignored. BUT, once you have allowed yourself to feel them, the key is to then let them go. If not then they just get stronger and stronger until that is all you feel and they are much harder to let go of or work thru.
I have learned that a good cry and some angry words can be healing. They are real. It is part of the mortal experience we are having - knowing the good from the bad, the joy from the sorrow. Oh and how comforting and warm the joy can be after feeling the sorrow!
My heart hurts because I see people in my life hurting and I cannot change that for them. Today is a day I feel sorrow, confusion and frustrations. Does that mean by this afternoon or tomorrow I will not be able to find joy again? No, not at all. In the moment it is hard to remember that. It may feel like you will never feel that joy for a long time, and in some cases it may feel like never.
I have a couple of dear friends that I have seen go thru trials and struggles that I have not - and I draw strength in how they live thru the storms. Both are dear friends to me and I know my life is blessed so much more because they are in it.
The first is married and has a husband that lives and works in another State. This is not by choice. Over the last 4 years I have seen them try and apply to many jobs here locally. They get excited and feel good about applying. Yet every time he is not even given an interview - even though he is way more qualified than others that end up with the job. Is not his desire to be able to actually live with his family and work in the same town a righteous desire that should be answered? They have looked into many options for the wife and son to move to where the father is. From renting to buying to even building a house. Every time something comes up that prevents them from being able to do this. She is honest about how bad this stinks, how bad she misses her husband, how many things he misses that his son is involved in. And yet, she does not curl up in a ball and sit in depression. She lives her life to the fullest. She is following her dreams and passions. Her and her husband drive hours and hours every other weekend to see each other and spend time as a family together. She amazes me and I draw strength from her and her family.
The second friend is about my age too. She is a mother of 5 children - 19, 17, 15, 13, 10. She is one of the kindest and most considerate people I have ever met. She is always smiling and so concerned about everyone in her life she meets. One month ago her husband was traveling from Utah and Idaho to try and finish a master's degree. He ended up having a cardiac arrest and dying while in Utah away from them. He was 44 years old. Seeing how she is handling this and her children is amazing to me. She is honest that it is not easy. That it stinks. That she does not understand why. But she has also shared how she can see the hand of the Lord preparing things in their lives for when this did happen. How the Lord guided them to this area a few years before so that they would have the friends and support for her and her children. That there are specific people in each of their lives that she knows are there right here right now for this event to help them thru it. She amazes me how she keeps busy helping others and organizing things to make life easier for the people around her she works with. I know there are days that she still cries and is upset with her husband for leaving her here - but those moments pass and I see the grace of a ballerina she has as she "dances" thru this time and trial.
I could name so many people I draw strength from around me as I have trials and moments in my life that are not all sunshine and sweet breezes. I am so thankful for them. They help me be able to stop, cry and then dance again with full joy in my heart even when life throws the grey clouds and storms in my direction.
Like I have said before - it is easy to "dance" when the sun is shining, and there is only a soft breeze sweeping across your neck. But how do you personally find the strength to "dance" and find joy when you feel beat down by the rain and it feels like there is no sunshine strong enough to break thru the grey clouds? (I would love to hear from each of you how you do this.)
I am always teaching my kids to feel the pain, cry, get mad, yell - whatever it is they are feeling at that second. Those feelings are real and should not be just pushed aside in the moment and ignored. BUT, once you have allowed yourself to feel them, the key is to then let them go. If not then they just get stronger and stronger until that is all you feel and they are much harder to let go of or work thru.
I have learned that a good cry and some angry words can be healing. They are real. It is part of the mortal experience we are having - knowing the good from the bad, the joy from the sorrow. Oh and how comforting and warm the joy can be after feeling the sorrow!
My heart hurts because I see people in my life hurting and I cannot change that for them. Today is a day I feel sorrow, confusion and frustrations. Does that mean by this afternoon or tomorrow I will not be able to find joy again? No, not at all. In the moment it is hard to remember that. It may feel like you will never feel that joy for a long time, and in some cases it may feel like never.
I have a couple of dear friends that I have seen go thru trials and struggles that I have not - and I draw strength in how they live thru the storms. Both are dear friends to me and I know my life is blessed so much more because they are in it.
The first is married and has a husband that lives and works in another State. This is not by choice. Over the last 4 years I have seen them try and apply to many jobs here locally. They get excited and feel good about applying. Yet every time he is not even given an interview - even though he is way more qualified than others that end up with the job. Is not his desire to be able to actually live with his family and work in the same town a righteous desire that should be answered? They have looked into many options for the wife and son to move to where the father is. From renting to buying to even building a house. Every time something comes up that prevents them from being able to do this. She is honest about how bad this stinks, how bad she misses her husband, how many things he misses that his son is involved in. And yet, she does not curl up in a ball and sit in depression. She lives her life to the fullest. She is following her dreams and passions. Her and her husband drive hours and hours every other weekend to see each other and spend time as a family together. She amazes me and I draw strength from her and her family.
The second friend is about my age too. She is a mother of 5 children - 19, 17, 15, 13, 10. She is one of the kindest and most considerate people I have ever met. She is always smiling and so concerned about everyone in her life she meets. One month ago her husband was traveling from Utah and Idaho to try and finish a master's degree. He ended up having a cardiac arrest and dying while in Utah away from them. He was 44 years old. Seeing how she is handling this and her children is amazing to me. She is honest that it is not easy. That it stinks. That she does not understand why. But she has also shared how she can see the hand of the Lord preparing things in their lives for when this did happen. How the Lord guided them to this area a few years before so that they would have the friends and support for her and her children. That there are specific people in each of their lives that she knows are there right here right now for this event to help them thru it. She amazes me how she keeps busy helping others and organizing things to make life easier for the people around her she works with. I know there are days that she still cries and is upset with her husband for leaving her here - but those moments pass and I see the grace of a ballerina she has as she "dances" thru this time and trial.
I could name so many people I draw strength from around me as I have trials and moments in my life that are not all sunshine and sweet breezes. I am so thankful for them. They help me be able to stop, cry and then dance again with full joy in my heart even when life throws the grey clouds and storms in my direction.
Tuesday, April 8, 2014
Spiritual Whisperings
As I posted yesterday, this past weekend was General Conference for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I want to focus my blogging today and maybe a few others on what touched me and has inspired me.
Jeffery R Holland spoke about having faith in these days. One of his statements that seemed to jump out to me was:
"It is a characteristic of our age that if people want any Gods at all, they want them to be Gods who do not demand much - Comfortable Gods and Smooth Gods who do not rock the boat - but don't even row it. Gods who pat us on the head, make us giggle, then tell us to run along and pick marigolds."
What does this really mean? What is it that I can take from it and better my life?
At first it is easy to say it is talking about everyone else in the world. I am a big believer that we can find a lesson for ourselves if we open our hearts to messages we hear.
We have been warned in the 10 Commandments not to put any other Gods before our Heavenly Father. This is not just talking about other gods like in Egyptian times. It is talking about anything that we give more time and power to - entertainment, careers, material possessions......
So back to the quote above - what in our lives are these type of gods that we have allowed to smooth us into complacency? Are we looking for easy things or easy outs so we do not have to face the harder ones? Are we filling our lives with distractions so we don't take a chance of the Lord giving us or prompting us to do harder things?
Do we feel like that everything in our lives that is not easy is a storm we must face? Or do we see most of them as growing opportunities? Do we see them as moments that God has left us alone? Or do we see it as a moment where our Heavenly Father loves us enough to allow us to grow and become stronger and allow who we can become to be shown?
As a parent it would be very easy to protect my child from all the hard moments in life - put them in a bubble, never allowing them to fall down and get a scraped knee, fall off a bike, have a broken heart, fail at anything. What kind of adult would they become? We know that when our own parents allowed us to experience these hard life moments, that we lived thru it and became stronger and in most cases can look back and say, "That time in my life was hard, but I would not change it for the world. I am who I am today because of it."
And so it is with our Heavenly Father. His heart aches to see us in pain and struggle, and yet He knows and can see that on the other side of that experience we will come out stronger.
It was once said that, 'If choosing the right and following God's commandments was easy, everyone would be doing it.' We are creatures of comfort. If we allow ourselves to always be comfortable and never be stretched we will never progress in any area of our lives.
Attitude is a huge thing that can either bless us or hurt us more. We can either laugh or cry in moments of trials....and most times it is good to do both.
But the lesson from this quote I ask myself is, "What in my life do I give more energy to than maybe I should, because it makes me comfortable, is easy and distracts me from the harder things I should be doing?" That is the question I have put in my heart this day as I try to be a little more positive, grow a little more, and face any new storms with a few new "dance moves" that my Lord has shown me to help me get thru them. Because the truth is we are not alone - we must just ask and He is always there.
Jeffery R Holland spoke about having faith in these days. One of his statements that seemed to jump out to me was:
"It is a characteristic of our age that if people want any Gods at all, they want them to be Gods who do not demand much - Comfortable Gods and Smooth Gods who do not rock the boat - but don't even row it. Gods who pat us on the head, make us giggle, then tell us to run along and pick marigolds."
What does this really mean? What is it that I can take from it and better my life?
At first it is easy to say it is talking about everyone else in the world. I am a big believer that we can find a lesson for ourselves if we open our hearts to messages we hear.
We have been warned in the 10 Commandments not to put any other Gods before our Heavenly Father. This is not just talking about other gods like in Egyptian times. It is talking about anything that we give more time and power to - entertainment, careers, material possessions......
So back to the quote above - what in our lives are these type of gods that we have allowed to smooth us into complacency? Are we looking for easy things or easy outs so we do not have to face the harder ones? Are we filling our lives with distractions so we don't take a chance of the Lord giving us or prompting us to do harder things?
Do we feel like that everything in our lives that is not easy is a storm we must face? Or do we see most of them as growing opportunities? Do we see them as moments that God has left us alone? Or do we see it as a moment where our Heavenly Father loves us enough to allow us to grow and become stronger and allow who we can become to be shown?
As a parent it would be very easy to protect my child from all the hard moments in life - put them in a bubble, never allowing them to fall down and get a scraped knee, fall off a bike, have a broken heart, fail at anything. What kind of adult would they become? We know that when our own parents allowed us to experience these hard life moments, that we lived thru it and became stronger and in most cases can look back and say, "That time in my life was hard, but I would not change it for the world. I am who I am today because of it."
And so it is with our Heavenly Father. His heart aches to see us in pain and struggle, and yet He knows and can see that on the other side of that experience we will come out stronger.
It was once said that, 'If choosing the right and following God's commandments was easy, everyone would be doing it.' We are creatures of comfort. If we allow ourselves to always be comfortable and never be stretched we will never progress in any area of our lives.
Attitude is a huge thing that can either bless us or hurt us more. We can either laugh or cry in moments of trials....and most times it is good to do both.
But the lesson from this quote I ask myself is, "What in my life do I give more energy to than maybe I should, because it makes me comfortable, is easy and distracts me from the harder things I should be doing?" That is the question I have put in my heart this day as I try to be a little more positive, grow a little more, and face any new storms with a few new "dance moves" that my Lord has shown me to help me get thru them. Because the truth is we are not alone - we must just ask and He is always there.
Monday, April 7, 2014
Cinnamon Rolls, Car Trip, Memories and Healing of the Soul
So late Friday we took off and headed to Utah to my Mom's house. It is always so good to be able to see and visit with her. The trip takes only 3 1/2 hours, and yet with gassing up, bathroom break it was longer....we left at 5:30 and did not get there until almost 10. In the back of my mind I kept thinking "We are seriously planning on driving to Disneyland in the Fall????" It got to a low point when the kids were complaining about what movie to watch or something like that - so much so that Kirk actually said, "When I was a kid we drove from Idaho to Texas with nothing but a Woody Woodpecker coloring book to entertain us!" We all lost it. The kids started with "That made you sound so old!" to "I am picturing you on the porch rocking in a rocking chair with a corn cob pipe in your hand while saying that in a raspy old voice!" We were laughing so hard and then things got better from there. That is one of the many things I love about my family. When things get tense it seems we can always end up laughing it off...now it make take a few minutes, sometimes hours, and sometimes even days to get to that point, but we do get there.
We stayed up late Friday night and helped my mom with things she needed done, and visited. It always feels good to be there with her. (Side note - Emme has a picture of my Father that she loves in our home. It is a 5 x 7 black and white picture in a black frame. She goes over to it almost daily and will pick it up gives it kisses and hugs it. She talks about Papa so often. The thing is that she never met him in this life.) When we got to my Mom's house she immediately walked in and said "Papa?" and started looking for him. My Mom took her around to look at different pictures of him and she could always point him out. At some point during the weekend she started calling my mom "Papa". I like to think that he was the one that saw her off from Heaven when she came to us. Some day her little mind will not be so open to the spirits around us, and when that day comes it will be sad, very sad. Because even though I know my dad's spirit is still living on, it will be a little like losing him her physically again when that happens.
The reason for our trip down to see my mom was for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints weekend of General Conference. General Conference actually last 1 1/2 weekends. It starts the last week in March with a meeting that Saturday night for all the women ages 8 and older to be taught and uplifted. Then the following weekend - the first weekend in April we get more. There is a morning session 10- noon both Saturday and Sunday - and then and afternoon session from 2-4 pm both days also. Saturday night they have the meeting for the men ages 12 and older. This is also repeated in the Fall. One of the neat things to me is that not one of the speakers are given a topic to talk on. They are suppose to give it thought and prayer and speak about what they are prompted to by the Spirit. Why this is so amazing is that with all the vast list of topics that they could speak on or are spoke on - there is always a few that pick the same topic and have a different way of approaching it. This is a blessing in my eyes, because it says to me that a topic must very important for us to hear at this time, but since we are all so different that it needs to be approached or delivered so it may touch those that are in need to hear it in a way they will be able to receive it and be blessed by it.
Now it is our tradition to always have cinnamon rolls at least one morning of General Conference weekend. The kids were thrilled when they got them on both mornings since we were in Utah on Saturday and back home on Sunday. We went down for Saturday since we were given tickets to the Saturday Morning Session. Now I have been a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints my whole life, but this was the first time I was able to go and sit and listen to it live. What an amazing experience that was for me and my family!
Emme and Coulson stayed with my mom, but the rest of the crew went together. CJ was not sure he could sit through 2 hours of talks. (This kid is not much of a sitter.) I told him he can do hard things and that if he opens his heart and mind to what is going on and being said he would not only be able to sit there - he would have something touch his heart.
We arrived in our seats a little after 9 am. The meeting started at 10 am. People were visiting and room was full of a happy buzz from it. Just before 10 am, in a split second, all the talking stopped at once and everyone stood. The Prophet Thomas S Monson and his two Counselors had walked in to take their seats. CJ looked at me and whispers, "Wooooah." I leaned down and quietly asked "What?" He then said, "That was so cool mom. I could feel a change happen in the room when they walked in. There is something so strong and different. It is the Holy Ghost, isn't it?" I told him, "Yeah. The Holy Ghost can touch us quietly in our hearts to tell us something is true or to warn us. Bu tit can also fill a room in such a big way that you can physically feel it with almost all your senses."
The talks were amazing, as usual. And I am planning on blogging about a few them individually over the next few days, so I am not rushed. And CJ said at the end, "That was two hours? No way! That was not that long at all."
After the session was over, we walked outside and were faced with street preachers who were yelling that we were all going to hell and that we were sinners and that we were deceived and following a false prophet - you know the normal. ;) Anyway, I could tell as I walked with CJ next to me holding his hand, that he was getting really upset. Adyson was almost in tears. She said that amazing feeling she felt while inside was completely pushed away when they stepped outside to the yelling. Then we crossed the street, and just down a bit was a group of about 20 people lining either side of the sidewalk singing hymns peacefully. That feeling we felt inside the building rushed over us again. CJ stopped just past the singers. I looked at him and asked what was wrong. He shared this:
"I felt so sad inside when those people were yelling at us. I could not understand how they thought yelling was being Christ-like. But the minute we passed the people singing I felt good again. That was amazing."
As a parent we have the responsibility to teach our children of our faith. Our children have to learn and feel and find their own path of faith. They get around 10, 11 or 12 and you can see that they are connecting what they believe and know is true in their own hearts. It was a beautiful thing to watch my son experience faith changing things in him this weekend. To have him experience things that I have tried to explain, like how the Holy Ghost can be a comforter when we are feeling sad, and yet how it can fill our whole beings and be that powerful. To see moments where their own testimony of things bigger them start to grow is a beautiful thing to this mom.
We stayed up late Friday night and helped my mom with things she needed done, and visited. It always feels good to be there with her. (Side note - Emme has a picture of my Father that she loves in our home. It is a 5 x 7 black and white picture in a black frame. She goes over to it almost daily and will pick it up gives it kisses and hugs it. She talks about Papa so often. The thing is that she never met him in this life.) When we got to my Mom's house she immediately walked in and said "Papa?" and started looking for him. My Mom took her around to look at different pictures of him and she could always point him out. At some point during the weekend she started calling my mom "Papa". I like to think that he was the one that saw her off from Heaven when she came to us. Some day her little mind will not be so open to the spirits around us, and when that day comes it will be sad, very sad. Because even though I know my dad's spirit is still living on, it will be a little like losing him her physically again when that happens.
The reason for our trip down to see my mom was for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints weekend of General Conference. General Conference actually last 1 1/2 weekends. It starts the last week in March with a meeting that Saturday night for all the women ages 8 and older to be taught and uplifted. Then the following weekend - the first weekend in April we get more. There is a morning session 10- noon both Saturday and Sunday - and then and afternoon session from 2-4 pm both days also. Saturday night they have the meeting for the men ages 12 and older. This is also repeated in the Fall. One of the neat things to me is that not one of the speakers are given a topic to talk on. They are suppose to give it thought and prayer and speak about what they are prompted to by the Spirit. Why this is so amazing is that with all the vast list of topics that they could speak on or are spoke on - there is always a few that pick the same topic and have a different way of approaching it. This is a blessing in my eyes, because it says to me that a topic must very important for us to hear at this time, but since we are all so different that it needs to be approached or delivered so it may touch those that are in need to hear it in a way they will be able to receive it and be blessed by it.
Now it is our tradition to always have cinnamon rolls at least one morning of General Conference weekend. The kids were thrilled when they got them on both mornings since we were in Utah on Saturday and back home on Sunday. We went down for Saturday since we were given tickets to the Saturday Morning Session. Now I have been a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints my whole life, but this was the first time I was able to go and sit and listen to it live. What an amazing experience that was for me and my family!
Emme and Coulson stayed with my mom, but the rest of the crew went together. CJ was not sure he could sit through 2 hours of talks. (This kid is not much of a sitter.) I told him he can do hard things and that if he opens his heart and mind to what is going on and being said he would not only be able to sit there - he would have something touch his heart.
We arrived in our seats a little after 9 am. The meeting started at 10 am. People were visiting and room was full of a happy buzz from it. Just before 10 am, in a split second, all the talking stopped at once and everyone stood. The Prophet Thomas S Monson and his two Counselors had walked in to take their seats. CJ looked at me and whispers, "Wooooah." I leaned down and quietly asked "What?" He then said, "That was so cool mom. I could feel a change happen in the room when they walked in. There is something so strong and different. It is the Holy Ghost, isn't it?" I told him, "Yeah. The Holy Ghost can touch us quietly in our hearts to tell us something is true or to warn us. Bu tit can also fill a room in such a big way that you can physically feel it with almost all your senses."
The talks were amazing, as usual. And I am planning on blogging about a few them individually over the next few days, so I am not rushed. And CJ said at the end, "That was two hours? No way! That was not that long at all."
After the session was over, we walked outside and were faced with street preachers who were yelling that we were all going to hell and that we were sinners and that we were deceived and following a false prophet - you know the normal. ;) Anyway, I could tell as I walked with CJ next to me holding his hand, that he was getting really upset. Adyson was almost in tears. She said that amazing feeling she felt while inside was completely pushed away when they stepped outside to the yelling. Then we crossed the street, and just down a bit was a group of about 20 people lining either side of the sidewalk singing hymns peacefully. That feeling we felt inside the building rushed over us again. CJ stopped just past the singers. I looked at him and asked what was wrong. He shared this:
"I felt so sad inside when those people were yelling at us. I could not understand how they thought yelling was being Christ-like. But the minute we passed the people singing I felt good again. That was amazing."
As a parent we have the responsibility to teach our children of our faith. Our children have to learn and feel and find their own path of faith. They get around 10, 11 or 12 and you can see that they are connecting what they believe and know is true in their own hearts. It was a beautiful thing to watch my son experience faith changing things in him this weekend. To have him experience things that I have tried to explain, like how the Holy Ghost can be a comforter when we are feeling sad, and yet how it can fill our whole beings and be that powerful. To see moments where their own testimony of things bigger them start to grow is a beautiful thing to this mom.
Friday, April 4, 2014
Homeschooling....oh boy!
We decided to pull CJ out of language arts at his school and do it at home in the middle of the 2nd trimester. He was getting A's but the stress the new way the subject was being taught was not worth it. At first I fought this - actually felt like I needed to do this starting back in November - but it took until February for me to actually act on those feelings. I just never saw myself as a homeschooling mama.
I took all his spelling words he was suppose to learn over the rest of the school year and copied them down. I wrote down all the things they to learn in reading and science.....just in case at the end of the 2nd tri I would say no way and stick him back in school, he would not be behind. What I realized after 3 weeks is that I was doing it exactly like school was and it was not working. I had to toss it all away and jump into the darkness with faith that I would be guided to do it the way CJ needed me to.
Background on CJ and reading:
All of my other children were reading by the time they got into Kindergarten - some at a 1st grade level others at almost a 2nd. We read a lot in our house. I worked with my kids on letters, colors and reading - especially reading the summer before they entered Kindergarten if not sooner.
Well the summer before CJ entered Kindergarten we were driving in the car back from the Library. I asked him if he wanted to start learning how to read a few words on his own so he could start reading his own books by himself. His response was, "I don't need to learn how to read, I have you, Dad, Amanda, Parker and Adyson to read to me." Conversation was done. After 3 kids that ate it up when I taught them to read, this kid was NOT interested.
Now jump to the last 3 years of school. Having him try and get his 15-20 minutes of reading done each night for school was like pulling teeth. I would try and get him to choose anything - from books about sports to world records. I did not care what he read but I wanted him to read. 5th grade brought on the whole - You will read this book or this type of book and do a book report. We got through that, and he showed he was very capable of it. Problem he hated it. I hated it. I hated seeing him starting not only not liking to read but starting to HATE reading all together.
Back to today. After deciding I needed a new approach I sat down with him and asked what he saw himself doing when he was older. What things he wanted to learn about? What things he wondered about? We made a list. I told him we would start on bridges, since said he wanted to be someone who created and built things but also designed them. ENGINEERING I thought. So I made him learn about different kinds of bridges, what parts where used in them (these were his spelling words), about men who were designers/engineers of bridges, bridges that collapsed and why. Then I said he had to find a chapter book to read for reading time. He picked an ancient mythology series.
We started doing bridge stuff for three days straight. Then I said it was time to start the book. The next day We mixed the time up with both. By the end of the 2nd week of this he was asking if he could just read for 2 -3 hours his book he was reading!!!! I was so excited!
From what research I have done, it seems that what parents are finding out is that when you first start homeschooling of any kind, you have to have a deprogramming or un-schooling moments. You cannot go from school to doing the same thing at home. You have to take some kind of mental break from the routine to be able to open and be ready to take on the new challenge. You will also have to find that balance in pushing your kids to do hard things, and realizing there will be days that nothing productive school wise will get done - and that is okay. Don't we as adults have days we are just not connected to our daily jobs and are not as productive as we are other days?
So this is just for my own record for next year. But below is the schedule I have figured out for him. The question is still up in the air as whether duel enrollment is going to work for him or not. We shall see. But here is a first attempt at a schedule:
I took all his spelling words he was suppose to learn over the rest of the school year and copied them down. I wrote down all the things they to learn in reading and science.....just in case at the end of the 2nd tri I would say no way and stick him back in school, he would not be behind. What I realized after 3 weeks is that I was doing it exactly like school was and it was not working. I had to toss it all away and jump into the darkness with faith that I would be guided to do it the way CJ needed me to.
Background on CJ and reading:
All of my other children were reading by the time they got into Kindergarten - some at a 1st grade level others at almost a 2nd. We read a lot in our house. I worked with my kids on letters, colors and reading - especially reading the summer before they entered Kindergarten if not sooner.
Well the summer before CJ entered Kindergarten we were driving in the car back from the Library. I asked him if he wanted to start learning how to read a few words on his own so he could start reading his own books by himself. His response was, "I don't need to learn how to read, I have you, Dad, Amanda, Parker and Adyson to read to me." Conversation was done. After 3 kids that ate it up when I taught them to read, this kid was NOT interested.
Now jump to the last 3 years of school. Having him try and get his 15-20 minutes of reading done each night for school was like pulling teeth. I would try and get him to choose anything - from books about sports to world records. I did not care what he read but I wanted him to read. 5th grade brought on the whole - You will read this book or this type of book and do a book report. We got through that, and he showed he was very capable of it. Problem he hated it. I hated it. I hated seeing him starting not only not liking to read but starting to HATE reading all together.
Back to today. After deciding I needed a new approach I sat down with him and asked what he saw himself doing when he was older. What things he wanted to learn about? What things he wondered about? We made a list. I told him we would start on bridges, since said he wanted to be someone who created and built things but also designed them. ENGINEERING I thought. So I made him learn about different kinds of bridges, what parts where used in them (these were his spelling words), about men who were designers/engineers of bridges, bridges that collapsed and why. Then I said he had to find a chapter book to read for reading time. He picked an ancient mythology series.
We started doing bridge stuff for three days straight. Then I said it was time to start the book. The next day We mixed the time up with both. By the end of the 2nd week of this he was asking if he could just read for 2 -3 hours his book he was reading!!!! I was so excited!
From what research I have done, it seems that what parents are finding out is that when you first start homeschooling of any kind, you have to have a deprogramming or un-schooling moments. You cannot go from school to doing the same thing at home. You have to take some kind of mental break from the routine to be able to open and be ready to take on the new challenge. You will also have to find that balance in pushing your kids to do hard things, and realizing there will be days that nothing productive school wise will get done - and that is okay. Don't we as adults have days we are just not connected to our daily jobs and are not as productive as we are other days?
So this is just for my own record for next year. But below is the schedule I have figured out for him. The question is still up in the air as whether duel enrollment is going to work for him or not. We shall see. But here is a first attempt at a schedule:
CJ:
Master Math - Level 8th Grade
Reading - Level 7
English - Level 7
Foreign Language - Level 6(beginning) Spanish
History (Year 1) Ancient History Level M
Science (Year 1) Biology
Bible - the 4 Gospels and the life of Christ - one gospel for each quarter
Monday - Math/Reading/English/History/Biology/Bible
Tuesday - Math/Reading/English/Foreign Language or Art/Bible
Wednesday - Field Trip/Library or Art Project
Thursday - Math/Reading/English/Foreign Language or Art/Bible
Friday - Math/Reading/English/History/Biology/Bible
Now I may have drop History/Biology into one section of time and break it up into 2 quarter clusters - so one is studied for 2 quarters and then the next. This would line up with the math time line which is also done in quarters instead of trimesters.
This schedule could have him available to go to school for elective classes by 1230 or 1.
We shall see if this can happen or not. But it is my starting off goal as of now.
One of the reasons I am starting to embrace the whole homeschooling idea is that it hit me that my kids spend way more time at school and other activities than they ever do with me. Yet my belief is that I have a divine calling as a mother. That I was chosen to be these children's mother for a reason. If my belief is true when am I suppose to have that biggest impact of their lives? How can my influence be greater than those at their school (teachers/peers)? By homeschooling I am the one sculpting and building their minds. I am the one that gets to watch and experience the moment they learn something new that excites them. I get to see their growth and progression.
I realize that homeschooling is not for everyone. Just as I know everyone approaches homeschooling completely different, if they are doing it. For me I like the idea of duel enrollment so they get majority of teaching time with me and the opportunity to still have the socialization of traditional school for an couple of hours. Now I may decide that is not the best idea down the road, but right now I feel the need to move forward and see where this path I have started down takes us. And I know that it will not be blue skies the whole way. Good think I know how to dance my way through the stormy days that will come. ;)
Thursday, April 3, 2014
It Begins.
So I decided that I spend a lot of time near a computer, that I should start blogging. I write in a journal a couple times a month right now. I would like to have a more daily record of my life - so here we are. Look at me - I'm blogging!
I think I will start with where my life is as of today and where it has been a little in the past to get me here -
I have 6 children - Amanda 19, Parker 16, Adyson 13, CJ 11, Coulson 7 and Emmeline 2. Five of them will have birthdays between May and July - they are getting older which means so am I. (Not sure I like how that works.)
I have been married to my best friend, Kirk since 1992. Which means we will celebrate 22 years of marriage in August. Cannot believe it has been that long! We truly are one unit and a true partnership. Not sure how I got so lucky.
I have been dancing since I was 4 years old. Started out in San Jose, Ca area with the Benny Smith Academy. Professional level academy of dance. Amazing foundation to have in dancing. We moved to Las Vegas when I was 8 and I started full time tapping under Peggy Ryan Studios. Now, Peggy Ryan was Donald O'Conner's dance partner in the movies. In fact she was suppose to be in Singing in the Rain, but found out her and her husband were expecting a son, so she was unable to fill the role. Debbie Reynolds stepped in and the rest was history. Anyway, Peggy was AMAZING! I was able to be a teacher through out JR High and most of High School under her. Was also invited at 12 to take lessons at Backstage. This was a dance studio in Vegas that the dancers from the shows on the Strip would go to keep up on technic and train. I was so shy and nervous at first, but once I started dancing I loved it! Added ballroom to the mix at 14 years old. Needless to say dancing has always been in my blood.
I have been involved with Theatre since I was 5. I started out with a children's theatre in San Jose and continued in some way or another from there.
When it was time to graduate HS, my mother had many people tell me she needed to get me to NY. That since I sang, danced as easy as breathing and smiled non stop that I was a natural. For me though, I knew that is not where my path in life should go. I wanted to do something that made people happy. I wanted to be a wife and mother. I knew in my heart that if I went to NY that all those things were going to have to be put on the back burner for quite awhile. I also knew that is not where the Lord wanted me.
So I went off to Ricks College to become a theatre teacher. I met Kirk in a play at Ricks College in fact. (Side note - worst acting attempt I ever did in my life! Kirk was great - I was terrible.)We got along from day one and respected and supported one another and built a beautiful friendship. We fell in love - and have had a love of theatre together ever since. (More on that another time.)
I took a break from dance and theatre to raise my kids....and can testify that it was exactly what the Lord wanted from me.
Over 10 years ago I started a modest swimsuit company that I ran from my home for 8 years. The thing I learned from that experience is that we all have talents that the Lord wants us to use - that we will be taken down paths we did not expect, and will grow in ways we cannot foretell. In the end we may not understand why things happen the way they do, but must trust in the Lord that there is a reason.
Almost 5 years ago I volunteered to help the Choreographer at the HS in Singin' in the Rain. He was doing tap numbers and needed someone to help cover some rehearsals. Since my oldest was a Jr and was in the show I was happy to help. That was the first step back into the theatre world! Since then I have choreographed 7 more musicals, on my 8th now, and was the director on one of those too!
I truly love helping people see the joy in dancing, especially when they think they cannot dance. I believe my talent the Lord has given me is to be able to make people feel like they have accomplished something and grown in ways they did not think possible thru that dancing. I have seen it happen over and over these past years. This gift is from the Lord. I hope that I am a testimony of His strength and love when I share that gift. This is why all the times I have choreographed it has been as a volunteer. There has been times that being paid for my time would have been a blessing to my family, but it is not why I do it.
I did realize this last year that I should/could find a way to make a little extra money for my family thru talents I have been given. I will still volunteer my time to the community theatre and high school of course. I have just decided to try out an acting class for the youth of the community during the summer thru the rec. department. (I will blog more about that later.) This will allow me to still work with kids, which I love, and make a little money. With a son going on a mission for the Church Of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints in the next couple of years, and a daughter that is getting to the age of possible marriage, a little extra money to put away and bless our family is a good thing.
I don't know why the Lord has blessed me so much in my life. I do know that my life is not perfect or smooth sailing (just look up my fb page and read about my son and the popcorn kernel). I do know that it is up to us to look for the everyday miracles in our own lives - and when the storms do hit - and they will - we learn how to dance thru them.
I think I will start with where my life is as of today and where it has been a little in the past to get me here -
I have 6 children - Amanda 19, Parker 16, Adyson 13, CJ 11, Coulson 7 and Emmeline 2. Five of them will have birthdays between May and July - they are getting older which means so am I. (Not sure I like how that works.)
I have been married to my best friend, Kirk since 1992. Which means we will celebrate 22 years of marriage in August. Cannot believe it has been that long! We truly are one unit and a true partnership. Not sure how I got so lucky.
I have been dancing since I was 4 years old. Started out in San Jose, Ca area with the Benny Smith Academy. Professional level academy of dance. Amazing foundation to have in dancing. We moved to Las Vegas when I was 8 and I started full time tapping under Peggy Ryan Studios. Now, Peggy Ryan was Donald O'Conner's dance partner in the movies. In fact she was suppose to be in Singing in the Rain, but found out her and her husband were expecting a son, so she was unable to fill the role. Debbie Reynolds stepped in and the rest was history. Anyway, Peggy was AMAZING! I was able to be a teacher through out JR High and most of High School under her. Was also invited at 12 to take lessons at Backstage. This was a dance studio in Vegas that the dancers from the shows on the Strip would go to keep up on technic and train. I was so shy and nervous at first, but once I started dancing I loved it! Added ballroom to the mix at 14 years old. Needless to say dancing has always been in my blood.
I have been involved with Theatre since I was 5. I started out with a children's theatre in San Jose and continued in some way or another from there.
When it was time to graduate HS, my mother had many people tell me she needed to get me to NY. That since I sang, danced as easy as breathing and smiled non stop that I was a natural. For me though, I knew that is not where my path in life should go. I wanted to do something that made people happy. I wanted to be a wife and mother. I knew in my heart that if I went to NY that all those things were going to have to be put on the back burner for quite awhile. I also knew that is not where the Lord wanted me.
So I went off to Ricks College to become a theatre teacher. I met Kirk in a play at Ricks College in fact. (Side note - worst acting attempt I ever did in my life! Kirk was great - I was terrible.)We got along from day one and respected and supported one another and built a beautiful friendship. We fell in love - and have had a love of theatre together ever since. (More on that another time.)
I took a break from dance and theatre to raise my kids....and can testify that it was exactly what the Lord wanted from me.
Over 10 years ago I started a modest swimsuit company that I ran from my home for 8 years. The thing I learned from that experience is that we all have talents that the Lord wants us to use - that we will be taken down paths we did not expect, and will grow in ways we cannot foretell. In the end we may not understand why things happen the way they do, but must trust in the Lord that there is a reason.
Almost 5 years ago I volunteered to help the Choreographer at the HS in Singin' in the Rain. He was doing tap numbers and needed someone to help cover some rehearsals. Since my oldest was a Jr and was in the show I was happy to help. That was the first step back into the theatre world! Since then I have choreographed 7 more musicals, on my 8th now, and was the director on one of those too!
I truly love helping people see the joy in dancing, especially when they think they cannot dance. I believe my talent the Lord has given me is to be able to make people feel like they have accomplished something and grown in ways they did not think possible thru that dancing. I have seen it happen over and over these past years. This gift is from the Lord. I hope that I am a testimony of His strength and love when I share that gift. This is why all the times I have choreographed it has been as a volunteer. There has been times that being paid for my time would have been a blessing to my family, but it is not why I do it.
I did realize this last year that I should/could find a way to make a little extra money for my family thru talents I have been given. I will still volunteer my time to the community theatre and high school of course. I have just decided to try out an acting class for the youth of the community during the summer thru the rec. department. (I will blog more about that later.) This will allow me to still work with kids, which I love, and make a little money. With a son going on a mission for the Church Of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints in the next couple of years, and a daughter that is getting to the age of possible marriage, a little extra money to put away and bless our family is a good thing.
I don't know why the Lord has blessed me so much in my life. I do know that my life is not perfect or smooth sailing (just look up my fb page and read about my son and the popcorn kernel). I do know that it is up to us to look for the everyday miracles in our own lives - and when the storms do hit - and they will - we learn how to dance thru them.
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