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Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Depression

It seems lately I have heard a lot of talk about depression. People saying they are depressed, others acting depressed, and some that say everyone is depressed to some degree at some point in their lives and just deal with it. So I have decided to ramble a bit in this post thoughts that have been bouncing through my head.

I have not been diagnosed with depression ever in my life, but looking back over the last few years I can see where I was most likely depressed but just worked through it.  And this got me thinking that maybe there are way more people that work through it than we know around us, and others in our "quick to give a pill to fix it society" that may not been quite depressed as a doctor told them they were. (Side note- this discussion in no way belittles or takes light actual clinical depression that so many go through.)

I wonder if there are those that say they are depressed and wear it like a badge of honor for the attention - and in doing so actually make it harder on those that are truly depressed to get the support and compassion they need and deserve?

I am sure we all know someone that if they get a paper cut on their pinky we hear about it for two days how they kept touching it or how hard it is to do their work because of it. They are the same ones that share every muscle ache as if they are the only ones that have ever had one. I have also noticed they are the ones that blow off anyone else's pains or trails as if it is not a big deal.

So how do we keep from getting cynical when we hear the word depression? How do we keep our hearts open and our understanding offered?

I personally have decided that the only way to do this is to offer it to everyone - even the annoying paper cut acquaintance. By choosing to be open and compassionate to all we never take the chance to miss showing love to the ones that really need it.

I admit this is easier said than done somedays. I think if we have those moments that we are starting to close off that compassion, those are the days we need to look back when we may have felt sad, down, or yes even depressed. I am a big believer though that many choose to be depressed instead of choosing the joy. It is just easier somedays -and somedays it is needed. But I am not sure how to help those that seem to thrive on being negative and sharing that with all those around them.

Time to share I guess - when we found out we were pregnant with our last little bundle of joy were a little surprised. You see, I had had health issues for 4+ years since our last child and had finally gotten healthy and was feeling whole again. We had also had some miscarriages and figured my body was done. I had mentally had started moving on to the next season of my life as a mother. Planned to go back to school, possibly get a part time job once our youngest was in school full time.  So I was not mentally prepared to be pregnant, go thru labor and have a newborn in our lives. Please don't get me wrong, I felt blessed and loved my baby and still do - how could we not love that little princess, she is hilarious!?! But it was not until maybe this last fall that I started feeling like my old self. That self that actually had a full brain again. There were times that were depressing, hard and all I could do was do my best each day and try to see the joy the next.  The only other time I felt that disconnected and a little lost was after the passing of my Dad.

I never felt like I was in a depression, I guess because I was able to always find something to be joyful about each day even when there were very loooong days. That was my medicine if you will. I count myself lucky and blessed. I say that because I know many that hit such a low they are unable to help themselves see the joy. I also can look back and know it was a choice I had to make each day to do that. I wonder if we had more people in our lives help us choose to do that instead of being so quick to throw a pill at the problem, would more people be able to be happier and less depressed because they had a better attitude? (Again not talking about true clinical depression.)

(I hope that those that read these post on my blog know me well enough to know that anything that I share about myself is in no way to be patting myself on my back or bragging. I just share because I feel that is how we stay connected as human beings.)

By looking back and acknowledging what I felt and went through helps me to relate even on a small level with those that I might love and know in my life that may be struggling with their own trials and depressions. And maybe by posting about this it will let them know that there is always an ear here to listen and set of arms for a big hug when needed. AND if they are up for it I am always up for dancing the blue away. ;)

3 comments:

  1. I, too, have never been "diagnosed" with depression, but several people in my family and Flynn's family have. His brother, in fact, committed suicide due to his severe depression.
    Like everyone else, I have my down times. Last summer was the worst. We realized things weren't working out to live together as a family, what are we supposed to do, what are we not seeing!?!? You know.... And I crashed. Big time. Thankfully I recognized it. It's hard work trying to find joy when there's none around. So I decided to keep a Thankful Journal. Every night I forced myself to write THREE things I was grateful for or that made me happy. I couldn't write the same things the next day. It was hard. But after about 2 weeks, it got easier. And eventually I didn't need the journal anymore. Thankfully, I was able to work through it on my own (and prayer).

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  2. (Sorry. Blogger decided my comment was long enough.)

    Anyway, like you I recognize and realize clinical depression is real and is serious. But for you and I and others like us, I really think keeping a Thankful Journal or something like it can really help!

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  3. That is a great idea to have an actual Thankful Journal. You truly are an inspiration to me daily!

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