When Storms Come

So my last post was about having faith that even when the Lord ask hard things of us to follow and live in that faith. The question today is when you have faith and are feeling like you are following a direction the Lord wants you to go and then you find out that it is not - how do you not question your ability to receive answers?

Like I have said before - it is easy to "dance" when the sun is shining, and there is only a soft breeze sweeping across your neck. But how do you personally find the strength to "dance" and find joy when you feel beat down by the rain and it feels like there is no sunshine strong enough to break thru the grey clouds? (I would love to hear from each of you how you do this.)

I am always teaching my kids to feel the pain, cry, get mad, yell - whatever it is they are feeling at that second. Those feelings are real and should not be just pushed aside in the moment and ignored. BUT, once you have allowed yourself to feel them, the key is to then let them go. If not then they just get stronger and stronger until that is all you feel and they are much harder to let go of or work thru.

I have learned that a good cry and some angry words can be healing. They are real. It is part of the mortal experience we are having - knowing the good from the bad, the joy from the sorrow. Oh and how comforting and warm the joy can be after feeling the sorrow!

My heart hurts because I see people in my life hurting and I cannot change that for them. Today is a day I feel sorrow, confusion and frustrations. Does that mean by this afternoon or tomorrow I will not be able to find joy again? No, not at all. In the moment it is hard to remember that. It may feel like you will never feel that joy for a long time, and in some cases it may feel like never.

I have a couple of dear friends that I have seen go thru trials and struggles that I have not - and I draw strength in how they live thru the storms. Both are dear friends to me and I know my life is blessed so much more because they are in it.

The first is married and has a husband that lives and works in another State. This is not by choice. Over the last 4 years I have seen them try and apply to many jobs here locally. They get excited and feel good about applying. Yet every time he is not even given an interview - even though he is way more qualified than others that end up with the job. Is not his desire to be able to actually live with his family and work in the same town a righteous desire that should be answered? They have looked into many options for the wife and son to move to where the father is. From renting to buying to even building a house. Every time something comes up that prevents them from being able to do this. She is honest about how bad this stinks, how bad she misses her husband, how many things he misses that his son is involved in. And yet, she does not curl up in a ball and sit in depression. She lives her life to the fullest. She is following her dreams and passions. Her and her husband drive hours and hours every other weekend to see each other and spend time as a family together. She amazes me and I draw strength from her and her family.

The second friend is about my age too. She is a mother of 5 children - 19, 17, 15, 13, 10. She is one of the kindest and most considerate people I have ever met. She is always smiling and so concerned about everyone in her life she meets. One month ago her husband was traveling from Utah and Idaho to try and finish a master's degree. He ended up having  a cardiac arrest and dying while in Utah away from them. He was 44 years old.  Seeing how she is handling this and her children is amazing to me. She is honest that it is not easy. That it stinks. That she does not understand why. But she has also shared how she can see the hand of the Lord preparing things in their lives for when this did happen. How the Lord guided them to this area a few years before so that they would have the friends and support for her and her children. That there are specific people in each of their lives that she knows are there right here right now for this event to help them thru it. She amazes me how she keeps busy helping others and organizing things to make life easier for the people around her she works with.  I know there are days that she still cries and is upset with her husband for leaving her here - but those moments pass and I see the grace of a ballerina she has as she "dances" thru this time and trial.

I could name so many people I draw strength from around me as I have trials and moments in my life that are not all sunshine and sweet breezes. I am so thankful for them. They help me be able to stop, cry and then dance again with full joy in my heart even when life throws the grey clouds and storms in my direction.